The funny thing about movies

Just think about it, if you were allowed to make or direct you own movie, what would you do, with would it be like? Me for instance anybody that knows me well knows that I love movies, like I'd take time out of my schedule to watch a good movie, and if I'd be allowed to direct my own movie, I'd want it to be good. Am not pro-Nigerian movies or anti and neither am I pro-foreign movies or anti and just pro-good movie and anti-bad movie. My love of movies or basically and anything artistic makes me hate bad movies.

The funny thing about movies expecially Nigerian movies is the fact that sometimes I see some movies been aried and I wonder why it's even there. Their are so ridiculous that as an average movie audience, I wonder if the producers and directors even spent any dedication make it. Sure it obviously not easy to make a movie but I think if I have been making movies for forty years I ought to be good at it or at least better than I started.

I have seen some really good movies, great Nigerian movies in fact, mentioning a few names like October first, doctor Bello and others. October first had one of the most spectacular use of fantastic props I have ever seen in a Nigerian movie and the quality was breathe-taking. The customes were very convincing and so was the location. It made me feel like that must have been how it was in 1960. Though I thought the storyline could have been a whole lot better. But it was pretty good compared to a conventional Nigerian movie.

In an like ours where we have technology that should if not for anything give us quality movies, why do we still end up it lame ones? I have watched some movies and thought to myself "was this really made in 2015" some movies are to bad that if they were made in the 90s they'd still be bad. For having the biggest movie industry in the whole of Africa, we sure do make a lot of lame movies.

For instance, how can you make a movie where some one gets shot in the leg and ends up in the hospital with a bandage on his head. Or in a situation we can actually see that the guns are fake, why would you give a pistol the sound effect of an automatic rifle? As if it's not bad enough, so times you watch a movie and you see knockouts or "bangers" as popularly known in Nigeria jumping already the screen while guns are been shot. We are not stupid you know we can see Em.

Sometimes, someone gets shot and his blood spills on the camera. Isn't that taking it a little bit far. And you'd think in this age of such flamboyant cgi, Nigerian video effects should have improved but they are just as lame. What's with the Len flare they always use to symbolize disappearance?

I was watching a movie just today and you should see what flying looks like, it was just bad. Lemme talk about a movie that's quite popular on African magic, a quite recent movie at that. I won't mention the name but if you've watched it, am sure you would know it as I write along. The movie was so bad, I had no choice but to stop and watch it.

The very first scene I saw in this movie, depicts a man, a popular small person in Nigerian screens, under a mango tree with his so called girlfriend. He is supposed to be a musically talented person in the movie, and he's about to sing for his girlfriend. This is exactly how he looked like. He wore a netted singlet in the colour of the ghanaian flag I think, with an oversized shorts. Then he had something that could easily pass off as the hide of a dead goat on his head for a dreadlocks or "dada" as if all this wasn't bad enough, he had in his hand a broken-down lead guitar that God knows where they picked it from and was playing it, without light or an amplifier. And that wasn't enough or, he was also singing and playing it. But of the sounds where like they were dubbed over the video and it was obvious he wasn't really singing or playing. What would it actually take to actually dread his hair, or just give him a normal acoustic guitar? And every time in the movie he played and sang with the lead guitar without an amplifier and with that dead goat hide on his head.

It seems some Nigerian actors and directors don't know there's something called over acting, that's when your acting looks forced or its obviously fake and yet they dub themselves professionals. If you know your actors are not capable then don't put them in situations that with show their mistakes. And at least you can either re-act mistakes or just crop them out, but no, they are not that dedicated. You're watching a movie and someone just got shot and then they zoom in on the persons face who is supposed to be dead and you can see the person either blinking or breathing. Or someone is hanged or died in a hospital and they zoom in on the person's face and you can see the actor's eyes moving.

That's why it called movie magic. We know it's fake but it should look so real that we doubt that it fake, and kinda believe it can truly happen. Another thing gangstas don't have to dress like fools the way they are shown in Nigerian movies with their stupid fake accent. And not everybody who goes aboard comes back with and American accent. If he went to Britain he should come back with and English accent. And how can come travel abroad and without seeing the airport, the person gets deported and yes comes back with an accent. He was in America for like what two minutes?

Besides what's with the stupid effect of accident. When someone is about you have an accident, you show the car interiors and shake the cameras, so lame isn't there any other way, and also what's with the lame soundtracks that reminds you of what has happened in the movie previously? For instance ngozi, goes to Lagos and gets pregnant so the soundtrack of the movie will play "ngozi leave village go Lagos come get belle what a wicked world, chei ewo" and on and on, just crazy.

As much as there are lames movies there are great movies, that other movies should learn from. And I think there should also be a standard to Nigerian movies, so that not anything goes. And not only Nigerian movies are guilty of all these great crimes against my eyes and ears but others too. I was watching an Indian movie that also had such blunders. The blood looked red, not bloody but red crimson red like the flash. In fact everybody is guilty in fact. I think bad movies should be banned. It's not like we are not trying but there so kind of movies I don't expect to see anymore, there should be improvement. In Nigeria, some commercials or popular called advertises are have some much better quality and cgi than a regular movie why should it be so, Abeg make we improve o. God bless 9ga.

If you have any other blunders from movies that should be addressed or treated don't forget to leave them in the comments and also reactions too, cause I know not everybody will agree with me.